Am I a good parent?

How many times have you found yourself asking the question, "Am I a good parent?" I know that I for one am guilty of committing this crime on more than one occasion. The worst part of it all is the fact that after I asked myself this question, I could usually think of a hundred things I had done wrong throughout their lives. This in turn leads to total and utter relentless "parental guilt." I played on this team for far too long, spending many years within the claws of this vicious cycle. It went something like this... I would ask myself "Am I a good parent?" To which my brain replies, "No, you yelled at them today for not picking up behind themselves." Of course this would then translate into dinner at their favorite restaurant, complete with no discipline for the next week. The end result would always be the same, hideous, disrespectful children on a sugar high. I would then yell at them when I couldn't take it anymore and the cycle would begin again. It was a disaster,

I was a stress case and still left with the "bad parent" blues. I, being the sensitive person that I am spent many restless nights pondering this loaded question. I looked at the question from all angles. I thought back to when I was a child and tried to remember what that felt like. I tried to decode parenting books. I consulted my parental adviser, aka my mother. I had deep discussions with my husband about the heavy load I was carrying around, to which he always responded with a "back in my day parents were parents not friends" or something to that effect.

Only after all of this was when I finally came to my senses and determined that I am the best parent I can be. Sometimes I yell, not as much anymore since growing comfortable with my mommy title. I may feel overwhelmed some days and I may choose happy meals over a solid meal from time to time (with the apple slices!), but still I am a pretty good parent. My children have an endless supply of love and I would never allow harm to come their way. I wake up everyday with them in mind and try always to do what's best for them.

I remember one day before I had children, I heard a lady speaking to her teenage daughter who was clearly upset with her. She held her face in her hands and somewhat helplessly explained that, although she was her mother, she was still just a woman. I don't know if these profound words did anything for the teenage girl and her mothers relationship, but I was deeply affected by this encounter and was forever changed in the way that I looked at parents. We are not robots. We are people too. We are allowed to make mistakes and change our mind and be ourselves. There is no such thing as a perfect parent that we should be emulating, just be yourself and don't sweat the small stuff.

As long as you are providing your child with a loving, supportive and safe environment you are the best parent for your child. Parenting is supposed to be a natural and beautiful thing. One day they too will understand and you may become the person they consult when needing advice in raising their own children. So take a deep breath when you need it and trust in yourself. You are a fantastic parent!